Fads & Fashion:

A Timeline

Never think you’ve seen the last of anything.

EUDORA WELTY, AUTHOR

As we’ve seen, we gals, working women, stay-at-home moms,

FemiNasties, and regular smart girls have lots of differences and lots of

things in common. But what makes us tick? Often, we ourselves aren’t

really sure.

“What do women want?” Sigmund Freud famously pondered this question

as if it were a koan: something “inacces-sible to rational understanding.”

Of course, it was meant to be a put-down, to cast women in the role of

inscrutable chimera—part man, part breast. For most of history, women

have been at center-stage of men’s wonderment, attention, and sexual

fantasies. We put forth our best efforts to get their attention, beget them fine children, and keep a

perfectly tidy home. They held us up and held us down at the same time.

And sometimes, we even liked it.

Now they’re not sure what do to with us.

In part this is because we haven’t known what to do with ourselves— we

have been stooges of Freud, suckers for fads, and slaves to the fashions of the day. But for the sake of making sure everyone is on the same page, let’s

review a recent timeline.

1800s–1940s: Susan B. Anthony leads her Suffragettes in a fight to win

American women the right to vote. It takes decades for men to give it up

and even then it’s given begrudgingly. Most women aspire only to be good

wives and raise families. For the upper classes, females are practically

invisible in the male-dominated workplace, unless there’s a war on. This

time marks the beginning of the end for arranged marriages in the Western

world. Thanks to a convergence of ideas of the Enlightenment and

economic trends, the new ideal marriage morphs from one based on

political and economic alliances to marriage based on love.

At the turn of the century, Sigmund Freud introduces the concept of penis envy, which ultimately influences the way society views women, relegating us to sexual second-class citizens.

Actress Jane Russell in a publicity shot for Howard Hughes’ film The

Outlaw Flat-chested flappers are the hot trend of the 20s, but by the 40s

Jane Russell and her giant breasts become huge stars in the film The

Outlaw, thanks to a specially designed underwire push-up bra invented by

aerospace engineer and Hollywood tycoon Howard Hughes. The release of

the The Outlaw was delayed for three years due to cries about Russell’s

indecency, but in the end, the boobs carried the day.

No one has any idea what is happening for women below the waist because

(show some common decency!) it just isn’t discussed.

Marilyn Monroe, c. 1953

The 50s: Marilyn Monroe is the ultimate pin-up girl who stars in a comedic

movie called How to Marry a Millionaire.

Girls are taught that creating the ideal home and family life—

including a freshly made cocktail and slippers to hand to a successful

husband when he returns home from work—is the ultimate goal. Should

that fail, they have a possible back-up plan as a secretary, teacher or nurse.

Hugh Hefner launches Playboy magazine, which for the first time in

American history tells men that being a responsible husband really isn’t all

that. The magazine’s first feature article, “Miss Gold-Digger 1953,”

declares that “a couple of generations ago, this was a man’s world and a

nice young woman had a difficult time making her own way. Nothing could

be further from the truth in 1953. Even the simplest wench can make a

handsome living today.” Rock and roll emerges: Elvis and hula hoops—it’s all about the swinging hips, baby. Women want hourglass figures—big boobs

are highly fashionable. Women still have pubic hair, but in the girly mags,

the bush is airbrushed or the model discreetly positions her actual “private

parts” out of view.

Audrey Hepburn as “Holly Golightly” in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

The 60s: Audrey Hepburn becomes a film icon in Breakfast at Tiffany’s, by

playing a New York City girl who gets by on the good graces of her wealthy

boyfriends. Betty Friedan, author and feminist activist, publishes The

Feminine Mystique in 1963, voicing the dissatisfaction felt by women

whose only role came from caring for husbands and children. She asserts

that the idyllic homes of the 1950’s are more like prison than paradise and

launches a contemporary feminist movement. The first birth control pill hits

the market giving women more sexual freedom than ever before. At the

same time, the Civil Rights movement dominates the decade and real progress is made for African

Americans. The Beatles come to America, giving us Beatlemania. Breasts

are set free. Hippie girlfriends take acid and offer free love, but still have to

cook dinner for their radical male boyfriends. The bush is au naturel.

Farrah Fawcett, angel of the ‘70s

The 70s: Farrah Fawcett is star of the TV show Charlie’s Angels. Gloria

Steinem publishes Ms. Magazine, while NOW— the National Organization

for Women—becomes politically powerful. NOW founder Betty Friedan is cast out, but the feminist movement has a major impact. Bored couples in

the sub-urbs swap sex partners in “key parties.” Twenty million mood rings

are sold. In the pick up scene, savvy men wearing wide-collar polyester

shirts replace the old pick up line, “What’s your sign?” with “I love you for

your mind.” Radical politics gives way to even more popular use of recreational drugs. The Beatles take

acid and break up. Breasts are still swinging free for “women’s libbers,” but

for the rest of us, they’re securely encased back in the bra. Pubic hairstyles

are still natural. Some men even like a really “big bush.”

Madonna, the “Material Girl” c. 1983; Pamela Anderson, “CJ”, c. 1989

The 80s: Madonna’s song “Material Girl” turns her into an instant icon, but

we girls still don’t get the message. Instead of becoming gold-diggers we

become sluts, chasing after boy toys. Consumerism is king. Greed is good.

Friedan is forgotten. Women head to work in power suits with shoulder

pads and everybody becomes a “yuppie.” The woman’s dream of “having it

all” is born. Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” dominates pop

radio. Ronald Reagan is everybody’s daddy. AIDS & condoms: Sex=Fear.

Conservative trends trump the radical notions of the preceding decades. By the end of the 1980s, the

ideal boobs are gravity-defying balloons as defined by Baywatch’s CJ,

played by Pamela Anderson, romping bra-less through the surf in yet

another red bathing suit. The “bikini line” is in vogue, with the hair “down

there” worn as a neatly trimmed triangle. Pubic deforestation has begun.

Female icons of the 1990s ranged from playful to powerful.

The 90s: Spice Girls. Buff Linda Hamilton in Terminator II. Girl Power.

Tweens. Nine-year-old girls on diets. The rise of term “Feminazi” has

women running scared. Even female PhD students proudly declare that they

are “not feminists”— but of course they still want equal pay, demonstrating

that even the smartest girls are completely confused. Naomi Wolf declares

in her book The Beauty Myth that feminism is the new “F-word.” Madonna

makes headlines with her S & M

coffee table book: Sex. OJ brings domestic violence out of the shadows.

Monica Lewinsky brings down the President. Fake boobs begin to dominate

the landscape, even for teens. For regular women, the bush is still trimmed

at bikini line. Pent-house Pets and strippers style their pubic hair in a shape

vaguely reminiscent of Hitler’s mustache.

Brit and Madge making out on stage, MTV Video Music Awards, 2003.

The 00s: Madonna again, now tonguing a young blonde superstar on stage,

while penning children’s books and adopt-ing a child from a small African

nation. Sex and the City defines womanhood for single gals and Girls Gone

Wild defines coming-of-age for teens. A top-rated network TV

show features a bored housewife in expensive high heels screwing her

underage gardener. Suburban moms do exer-cise routines on stripper poles.

The rise of the celebrity nitwits: Jessica Simpson and Paris Hilton. Shows like Real Sex and Cat

House bring semi-soft porn into the mainstream.

Vaginal rejuvenation is the new boob job, proving that even our most

intimate parts need to be retrofitted to meet the evermore rigid beauty

standards. Botox is now de rigueur. The “Brazilian” is practically a

household word: the bush has been shaved, waxed, lasered and/or tweezed

in favor of pre-pubes-cent baldness or a tiny “landing strip.”h Along with

the loss of our pubic hair, have we also lost our credibility? Just look at the

condensed history above. As a group we femmes don’t seem to be making

any sense at all.

In fact, what do we want? Men have obviously picked up on our confusion

and, perhaps justifiably, simply want us to shut up and take our clothes off.

No matter how accomplished women become, the primitive preoccupation

with scoring a mate dominates the timeline. We’ll always employ the latest

technology—from hydraulic bras to surgical enhancement of our birth

canals— to make ourselves more sexually desirable.

Yet as we’ve previously noted, when women make gains in the man’s

world, we often lose our sexual power. This might explain the somewhat

baffling trend of total deforestation of our nether regions. Why is it

fashionable for com-h Side note, Men (or women) who enjoy porn and want

to see pubic hair are now sent to the “fetish” aisle, or can pick up a “classic”

from the used section. petent women to mimic 10-year-old girls underneath their power suits?

As we’ve become more liberated and powerful, sex as currency hasn’t gone

away—it’s become mainstream. It seems for every two economic steps

forward we take, we also stop to give a lap dance.